As I send off students from the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary, the one nugget I leave with them from a counseling perspective is, “Expect to be lied to.” That may sound alarmingly pessimistic as a pastor and professor sends out future shepherds to tend Christ’s lambs. But fear not, I am not counseling them to be cynics or to suspect everyone is lying to them all the time.

This counsel is, however, in the same vein of our Lord when He said to His apostles, “I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16). It is also akin to the Apostle Paul listing the qualifications of elders to Titus, and then immediately transitioning to those same elders correcting and silencing vain deceivers (Titus 1:9–11). It is a call to constant discernment and shrewdness. Sadly, this is because the church contains liars and hypocrites.

At this point we almost immediately run afoul in our modern understanding of the word “hypocrite.” We think of the criticism from unbelievers who do not want to have anything to do with the church because, as they say, “it contains a bunch of hypocrites”— genuine converts of Christ who say one thing but do another. But this is not the concept of hypocrisy the Scriptures primarily present. Instead, a hypocrite only play-acts at being a Christian. They are unconverted but put on airs and are either self-deceived or self-consciously deceiving. They are among the people of God but are insincere in their Christianity.

James says in his epistle, “Wisdom that comes down from above…[is] without hypocrisy” (Jas. 3:15, 17). The genuine believer, and recipient of such eternal wisdom, does not conduct herself in an artificial way, but is sincere with her fellow believers. She lives an honest life within the church. This relational wisdom—wisdom from God Himself—is borne out within interpersonal relationships. We know this from the description of such wisdom found in verse 17, and as especially contrasted in the following verses of chapter 4. James shows what relationships look like without such sincere and godly wisdom: fights and quarrels, war with one another, murderous intentions, covetous desire, selfishness, and the like. Therefore, a truly transformed relationship among God’s children, bearing the marks of heavenly wisdom, is without hypocrisy.

To put it another way, we might say one walking in step with the Spirit walks in the light—openly, honestly. There is no need to conceal and make oneself look good by human effort and for appearance’s sake. Instead, the believer displaying heavenly wisdom lives a transparently upfront life.

Dear Christian, don’t you grow tired of our world’s messaging that you must have everything together all the time? You are expected to have the perfect HGTV home, ideal little darling children who never disobey, photoshopped snapshots of your life, family, and self—not even mentioning any thought of sin. The wisdom of this world constantly tells you to live a life of perpetual hypocrisy. “Make yourself look better than you really are.” The gospel, however, and therefore wisdom from above, says the exact opposite: “Present yourself truly and sincerely.” And, as we do so, we can find forgiveness for our sins and receive love from one another despite our shortcomings, limitations, and blemishes.

Heavenly wisdom is so freeing. It says be honest with yourself and others and stop trying to lie to one another about how wonderful we are. No, dear believer, let us instead confess our sins, share our burdens, admit our struggles, and stop trying to trick people into thinking we have the perfect life. The honest truth is, we don’t.

To bring this home, John Owen, in his work on the Holy Spirit, speaks of our being conformed to the very pattern of Christ. We are not being made into someone altogether different from ourselves, so that by the time the Lord is finished with us we will be unrecognizable. Instead, as Owen suggests, we are being made into the perfect example of our truest selves, what we were created, recreated, and always intended to be. In the end, when presented spotless on the last great day, we will display ultimate sincerity, without any hint of hypocrisy. If that is our consummation in Christ, then ought we not live in such a way now, church? Let us put away any whiff of falsehood and live without hypocrisy in gospel wisdom.

Keith Evans | professor of biblical counseling, Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary (Pittsburgh, Pa.).