It is difficult to condense such a broad topic. I will focus on the practical, with this caution and reminder. In Revelation 2, the Ephesian Christians are told they have “abandoned their first love.” If we abandon the gospel—not consciously, but functionally—and forget God’s amazing love for us, then we often slip into attempting to live the Christian life on our own. It becomes performance-oriented drudgery. Only an appreciation of His love will motivate genuine obedience. As you read, check your heart frequently and focus on your Savior!

There are many passages on how to treat one another and work together in the church (e.g., 1 Thess. 5; Phil. 2; Eph. 4). With all this help, why is working together as a church family so hard?

First, we are sinful and self-centered. Second, we live in a Western culture. In the United States and Canada, privacy and individualism are idols of our culture. We think, “Sure, I’ll be nice to you, but I don’t want to be obligated to you, nor do I want you to make any claims on me or tell me how to live.” Pray and work against this attitude.

John Angell Adams was a New England pastor in the early 1800s and also an insightful writer. In “Solemn Duties Which the Church Members Owe to Each Other,” he writes, “The bond which unites the members of a Christian church is a very sacred and tender one.…There is nothing like it in the world. It is not a tie of interest or blood kinship, or mere friendship, but of holy love; they are all one in Christ, and are therefore to regard one another for Christ’s sake, as well as for their own.” Here are some specifics to consider.

Worship

Worship is delighting in the Lord. Are you late to a concert, ball game, or wedding? Usually not. We go to worship to meet the living God. If you go to worship early it’s easier to help out, to greet visitors (who are often early), to help provide an atmosphere that makes it easier for people to offer their worship.

People

Aim to give the benefit of the doubt—assume the best of people. Love covers many sins (1 Pet. 4:8). Who are the lonely, needy, or uncool people in your church? Seek out one of them each week, ask about his/her life, maybe get coffee or do an activity during the week. Teach this to our children and teens, too. Jesus loves “lowly” people, and so should we. It may or may not seem like a blessing to you, but it will bless them. Be willing to accept help from someone else—you don’t always need to be the helper or provider.

Be Aware

Know what’s going on in your city or town, your nation, and the world. Also, be aware of the church’s missions and the missionaries’ specific needs. This informs our prayers and shows us areas in which we might offer help.

Be a Practical Presbyterian

While the life of the church is primarily within one’s local congregation, the church is bigger than this. Cultivate an interest in what goes on in your presbytery and at Synod. Pray for these matters. Make the effort to attend a special event at another congregation. Women: don’t leave being Presbyterian to the men!

Spiritual Disciplines

I think one application of taking up one’s cross daily (Luke 9:23–24) is that we must lead a life of repentance—it’s not a one-time act. A primary way God makes us holy is through the Word and prayer. To be honest, reading the Bible and praying regularly can be hard—we don’t always want to do them. Yet our God knows when we don’t feel like it, and He wants us to come to Him, empty, asking for help, as the writers of Scripture often did.

Fasting & Prayer

J.C. Ryle said that fasting is a matter in which everyone is to be persuaded in his own mind and not hasty to condemn others. In Jesus’ day, feasting was more appropriate than fasting (Matt. 9:14–15). However, in Matthew 6:16, Jesus assumes that we are fasting, saying, “and when you fast.” If you’re reticent to start or unfamiliar with the practice, consider fasting for one meal and not the entire day—and use the time to pray. Fasting and prayer usually go together, and prayer helps with the hunger distraction. If you’re afraid you’ll go wild with hunger, remember, one main purpose of fasting is to remind us of our need for God. Our craving for food reminds us that we are not self-sufficient.

Countenance

Many fathers in the faith (and mothers, too) battled heavy discouragement and/or depression: Jeremiah, Elijah, Charles Spurgeon, John Calvin, and C.S. Lewis. Without wanting to belittle that, I think Psalm 42 spoke to these men and speaks to all of us. “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” We must speak that verse to ourselves. A spirit of thankfulness and of enjoying God will show on your face and is helpful to the church. Not an unreal plastic smile, but a contentment and joy that shows. If there is a breakdown in your relationship with God, it will show on your face. How helpful is it to the church if I always go to the Lord’s house with a long face? Or walk around my house with a “woe is me” look? Does that bring glory to God? Would a non-Christian want to be like me?

Biblical Sexuality

To those who struggle with their sexuality, we need to give compassion and help. Children and young people watch us. For example, they notice the affection of married couples or the lack of it. They will see if we’re happy with our sexuality and content with the way God made us. It’s a wonderful thing to see singles who are content in their sexuality, bringing glory to God in that area. I’m sure it is difficult for many. Remember that singleness is spoken of as good in the Bible; it is not a second-rate way to live. When a couple gets married, it is not helpful for us to act as though they have finally arrived and have reached the main goal in life (even though it is a happy occasion).

Modesty

Our first question to ourselves should be, “What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear: glory to me or glory to God?”

New People

A big reason why people don’t visit a church a second time is because no one noticed them or engaged them in conversation, so they felt awkward. Greet new people. However, everyone shouldn’t descend on the visitor(s) like vultures, making them feel trapped. Let others talk with them, too.

Children

Bring your children to the called meetings and services of the church. This will help teach them the priority of worship and of the church. Staying up past bedtime occasionally will not harm them. If everything young children do in life revolves around their schedule, they may begin to think they are the center of the universe.

Psalms/Music Beautiful, harmonic a cappella singing is something we enjoy as we praise God in our churches. This is unlikely to continue unless we teach it to the younger ones among us. Music, including theory, was once a regular part of curriculum; now, too often, it is not.

Teach your children and others who would like to learn. Consider becoming a precentor! When singing in the congregation, watch your precentor (psalm leader) as much as possible. The purpose is to sing together well in praise to God. Many a precentor has wondered “Why am I even up here?” because no one is following.

Gifts, and Doing the Hard Jobs

Much is said in the Bible about the gifts God has distributed among His people. We are to use those gifts and get better at them for the good of Christ’s church. But, if you have a certain gift, please be careful to avoid the thought, “I only do this; I don’t do that.” Serving Christ’s church involves basic tasks as well as life gifts. If the 1st and 2nd graders really need a teacher, or if the bathrooms really need to be cleaned, be willing to step out of your comfort zone and do the hard job sometimes.

Final Thought

One of the most helpful things in church life is to be an approachable person, someone with whom people can talk…about anything.