My husband and I don’t come from Christian backgrounds. When we have tried to have family worship, we find it time consuming and complicated. Plus, neither of us knows how to sing. What are we doing wrong? How can we make this a habit?

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God loves family worship. He called Abraham and all Israel to it (Gen. 18:19; Deut. 6:6–9), because He wants godly offspring (Mal. 2:15). So, good for you for trying it! You probably are not doing anything wrong. Many families find it awkward or difficult, even those who do come from Christian backgrounds. Family worship requires discipline, but it rewards the effort. Here are a few suggestions to help make family worship a habit of your home.

First, find the right time. For most of us, this requires choosing a thing or two to not do. Only a few of us have open spots in our schedule in which we can just plop family worship; most of us will need to cancel or shorten a few commitments to make room for family worship. We also suggest finding an anchor in the schedule. The best way to begin building permanence into your family worship routine is to borrow permanence from another activity. This is why so many families, for so many years, always had worship right after dinner. They knew that every evening they would be together in the same place at the same time.

This is less true today. So, unless you are going to make an evening meal a priority, at the cost of cutting your other activities, you might have to find something else in your daily routine to which you can attach family worship. One military family had family worship first thing in the morning because the only thing they all did together was wake up! Find the right time.

Second, find the right routine. The Bible does not prescribe the exact order or plan for family worship, so be flexible. When the kids are little, a brief reading is appropriate. As they age, begin asking questions of fact (e.g., Who is in this story? What did he/she do?) and then, in time, move to questions of deduction (e.g., How does this show us Jesus? How do we apply this?). Likewise, give the little children brief but concrete things to pray for (e.g., Ask God to heal Grandma) and, as they grow up, have them pray for more complicated things (e.g., Ask God to comfort Grandma as she feels older and weaker).

This pattern of starting small and simple also applies to adults just getting started with family worship. It also applies to psalm singing. Ask a friend to help you through a psalm selection until you are comfortable and confident, then bring it into family worship. Rely on the psalter app on your phone. Listen to the albums produced by Crown & Covenant. Best of all, ask your congregation to pick one psalm selection and sing it in every worship service for a month or longer so that everyone can memorize it. Many wonderful resources on family worship exist. Perhaps start with Joel Beeke’s little book, Family Worship (Reformation Heritage). Find the right routine.

Third, find a mentor. Very little in the Christian life comes to us naturally, and God intends it to be that way. He places us in church families so that we can encourage and equip one another. Thus, one of the best ways to learn family worship is to sit in someone else’s family worship. Figure out who in your congregation has a steady rhythm of worship and invite yourself over to their house. Ask your pastor or elders to stop by your home occasionally to lead in worship so that you can watch them in action. Or, have them observe your times of worship and give you feedback. When you are a young couple, without kids, this is an ideal time to visit another family’s worship to learn the habits. You do not need to copy everything, of course, but pick up what you can. Families with a well-established routine of worship, please share with others! Find a mentor.

Fourth, find a reason to keep going. The powers of darkness know the power of family worship and will resist it. Our flesh hates the discipline of family worship and will resist it. Western culture insists on a lifestyle that leaves little room for worship in the home.

Family worship has many mighty enemies. But, do not be discouraged. Family worship has an almighty ally! Jesus loves family worship. He will hear your prayers no matter how brief or feeble. He will rejoice in your praises no matter how off-key. He will work in your hearts through His Word even if it is just a little seed dropped for a moment (Mark 4:26–29). Trust Jesus to delight in your struggle to have family worship and to richly reward the effort.

James Faris and Noah Bailey | column editors

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Have a question on your heart that you’d like to see answered here? Send it to info@rpwitness.org