“You have cancer.” In October 2021, I heard those dreaded words. I was diagnosed with stage three colorectal cancer, and soon radiation, chemotherapy, and multiple surgeries were part of my plan of care. One of the Scriptures that really helped me through every treatment, medication, procedure, and surgery was Isaiah 41:10: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

For most of my 64 years, I have created visual art through painting. For the past 23 years, I have worked exclusively with oils, painting varied works of art in my home studio. I have also enjoyed a rewarding career providing James 1:27 leadership for various long-term care communities throughout the country while serving the widows, orphans, fatherless, and those who cared for them.

I prayed, asking God how I could make the most of my cancer journey, trying to determine what could possibly be a silver lining within the dark cloud of my cancer. Initially, I was comforted by the following words: “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Deut. 31:6). My pastor, Bruce Parnell, recommended a little book by John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Cancer. Piper writes about the opportunity to bring glory to God through 10 cautions about how not to waste your cancer. Number 5 really spoke to me: “You will waste your cancer if you think that ‘beating’ cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.”

The world is all about preparing you to grab the latest seven-step program to battle the giants in your life, when allowing Christ to do battle for you is a surer way. Cherishing Christ became most important to me, and if I were to perish from this, it would be into His glorious presence. In other words, I left the result of my cancer battle in His capable hands to bring Him the most glory. I hinted to Him that if He would like me to continue caring for my wife, son, and elderly father and serve Him with the gifts and talents He has given me, I was still up for the job. I consumed every word of Piper’s book and would highly recommend it to anyone you know who is dealing with cancer directly or indirectly.

In 1634, John Milton in Paradise Lost was probably the first to pen words about the silver lining: “Was I deceived? Or did a sable cloud turn forth her silver lining on the night.” Throughout the centuries, people have simplified that poem by stating, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.” I found myself challenged to scour the providential dark cloud of cancer to locate my silver lining. I focused my search on the lessons learned, answered prayers, and my art.

Was my silver lining to be found in the many lessons learned as a result of having cancer? Some of those lessons learned were: how to pray without ceasing, the immediacy of repentance, holding my family even closer (especially my wife, Susan, and my now 12-year-old adopted son, Max), to be grateful for every day, and that suffering is a gift from God that can be a real proving of your faith. My pain drew me closer to Christ, taught me to be truly thankful for my church family, and to be more concerned about others who suffer. These lessons and many more have changed me for the better; however, they were not my silver lining.

Was my silver lining in cancer to be found in my art? Early on, I determined to make the most of my cancer with my art; however, I was no longer able to use oil paints due to my treatments. Evidently, the various solvents and oils were a bad combination with chemotherapy drugs, so I switched to watercolors. I decided to challenge myself to learn watercolors and paint a small painting each day of my cancer treatments. I ended up painting 163 watercolors that are 4”x 6” and framed them. My plan was to have a benefit art show and donate half of everything to local charities, which I did. As a side note, many times my art became a meditation for the day. I selected a verse of Scripture to accompany each painting and made sure those verses ended up on the backs of my paintings along with the certificates of authenticity.

My art gave me a special purpose but was not my silver lining.

Was my silver lining in cancer to be found in the many answered prayers? I prayed for a caring medical team, and I was gifted with a brilliant team of eight caring physicians from Mercy Hospital in Oklahoma City, led by my oncologist, Dr. Carla Kurkjian, my cancer quarterback. I also prayed that I would not go broke. Thankfully, that prayer was answered, and my insurance held out, paying over half a million dollars for my care. I, with my church, family, and friends prayed that I would become cancer free. In God’s providence, I am now cancer free as far as can be detected by machine or test. Those answered prayers along with many others were wonderful and humbling but ultimately were not my silver lining.

I wrote a psalm-like poem as I thought about what my silver lining has always been.

You Were There

Before cancer attacked my body,
You were there.
When those Three Dreaded Words pierced my mind,
You were there.
When despair was doing its best to rob me of my joy,
You were there.
When radiation and chemotherapy had its way with me,
You were there.
When I was hurting the most in the Mercy Hospital ER one night,
You were there.
When I was under the skillful surgeon’s knife,
You were there.
When I was recovering from surgeries,
You were there.
When no more cancer could be found,
You were there.
As I work to fully recover,
You continue to be there.
Your mercy endures forever!

The ultimate silver lining for me has always been Christ Jesus. My prayer is that you would look to Christ Jesus, the ultimate Silver Lining!