How do you disciple a generation that is very different from all previous generations? I am referring mainly to those who are 20-somethings, though much of what I say can apply to those who are in their teens.

Two Do Nots

First, do not be like Saul. The story of David and Goliath is a familiar story. David approaches the Israelite camp with supplies for his brothers. He hears the insults of the “uncircumcised Philistine” and decides to fight the warrior himself. Word gets to King Saul, who summons David and tries to discourage him from this suicidal notion. David pushes back. He points out that God has given him victory in the past. Saul relents but wants it on his own terms. The writer of 1 Samuel says: “Then Saul clothed David with his armor. He put a helmet of bronze on his head and clothed him with a coat of mail, and David strapped his sword over his armor. And he tried in vain to go.…”

Saul gave David his personal armor, but it didn’t fit. The armor worked great for Saul but was a hindrance to David. Likewise, do not take what has worked for the previous generation and, without thought, expect the next generation to use it. Certainly, this example in the story of David does not exegetically dictate this principle, but it provides a picture of what sometimes happens in discipling the next generation.

A modern-­day example would be my father’s advocacy of memory verses. You can see him reviewing verses while hiking, running, and biking. Though he does not check them in the pool, they are next to his towel when he gets out!

He has passed on this fanaticism to me. I am a proponent of memory verses, but it looks different. I have an app that tracks my memory verses. He carries his memory verses on pieces of paper that he typed. I scarcely know what paper is.

My dad has not been like Saul. David and Saul had a common goal, to kill Goliath, but Saul assumed David would use his means. My dad and I have a common passion: we both believe Scripture memory is a necessary discipline of the Christian life. But my dad knows our methods might be different. Saul’s attitude can come out in discipling relationships in phrases like, “Well, this is just what we’ve always done,” or, “This works for me; why not for you?”

This attitude comes from a heart that has lost focus on the real goal. The story of David and Goliath comes after the Spirit of the Lord left Saul. Saul’s heart was not set on the Lord; instead he was focused on military and political survival. When discipling the next generation, we need to ask ourselves if our hearts are set on just the survival of our local church and denomination. This is small-minded thinking that stems from a heart that has sunk to the level of Saul. We serve the living Lord and ought to disciple others to follow Him, first and foremost.

Second, do not be like the older priests mentioned in Ezra 3:12. The post-exilic community was celebrating the completion of the temple’s foundation. Finally, the temple was being built! During the celebration, the older priests, Levites, and heads of families wept aloud because the new temple was not as grand as Solomon’s temple.

It’s hard for young people to hear about the “good old days” and realize we’re not good enough for you. You want the next generation to hear what Christ has done in your life, how He has changed you because of His death and resurrection. You want them to understand that their relationship with the Lord is the most important relationship of their entire life. You want to build them up and offer edifying words. You do not want to pass on the feeling that “you’re not good enough.” This is far from the gospel.

Speak about the good old days, but don’t weep at the present. Use your memories of how God has used you and sanctified you to encourage and provoke the next generation to wholeheartedly follow Christ.

Solomon’s temple was greater than the new temple. Likewise, many older Christians have stories much greater than any of my generation. They can use these experiences to encourage and cast vision for the next generation by framing these memories. This is best explained through a story.

Recently I was reading about the good old days. I got my hands on some of Dr. Roy Blackwood’s mail from 1955 when he was a pastor at the Bloomington, Ind., RP Church. I loved reading these letters between Dr. Blackwood and other pastors. They revealed the hardships and joys found in ministry. They also opened me to a new model of thinking about how to bring the gospel to unbelievers.

The framework in which I was reading these letters was curiosity about how Dr. Blackwood did ministry. I was richly rewarded. But there could have been a different framework. Dr. Blackwood could have come up to me and said, “David, you need to read these letters. They will open you up to the past, when we really did ministry. I just weep when I hear about the poor efforts of your generation.” If Dr. Blackwood had said this, I would have approached the letters as a judgment of my work instead of as sources for new ideas. It is important to frame memories to encourage and build up the next generation.

Two Dos

First, give direction. We see this illustrated in Paul’s relationship with Timothy. Paul tells us how he urged Timothy to remain in Ephesus so Timothy could deal with the false doctrine killing the church. Likewise, my generation needs direction. Point out the needs of the church and where we can fill them.

My generation thinks of life as a smorgasbord of opportunities; choose what pleases you.

For example, when I graduated from Taylor University, I was told I could pick almost anywhere in the world to teach. Few countries were off limits. Positions were open in Bolivia, China, Liberia, and Ireland; schools were asking for me to come.

When you see someone doing something well, like accounting, teaching, parenting, engineering, etc., encourage them in their work. Point out their strengths. When you see one getting lost in all the choices, point out where there are needs in the church. Urge us; we need direction. (After I gave this talk, one of the audience members, an older and wiser woman, encouraged me to submit it to the RP Witness.)

Second, ask, “What does it mean to live out the gospel in your situation?” The New Testament asks over 900 questions (Estes, Questions and Rhetoric: In the Greek New Testament, Zondervan). They are a key tool in the disciple’s arsenal. This particular question is a question about meaning. My generation does not care about the truth. They care about meaning and personal fulfillment. Of course, personal fulfillment is acquired only through living the truth. Christ is the truth and is the only way we acquire meaning in life. This question does not discard the truth but is getting at the truth in a roundabout way that makes sense to the next generation.

Notice that this question asks about one’s situation. It is difficult to talk about generalities with my generation. For example, compare my work with another in my church. We both are teachers, yet our professional lives are completely different. I teach in a physical classroom, and she teaches online. She teaches to people from all over the world; I teach seventh through tenth graders from Carmel, Ind. So how we communicate the gospel is going to look very different from each other.

Asking this question helps you walk through the person’s life and grasp his or her situation. It allows you to then bring forward years of wisdom into that person’s situation of how the gospel gives life.

That is just the first question. You want to follow up with deeper questions that dig into a person’s heart and breathe gospel truth into his or her situation. Listen carefully and empathize, draw out the next generation’s heart, and lead them into the love and beauty of Christ.

It might go against your personality to go up to a young person and ask such a question. If so, put yourself in places where you will rub shoulders with young people. It could be merely being intentional to talk with them every time after worship and encourage them in their work. Through time and intentional conversation, you can work your way to a point where it’s almost expected to be asking these kinds of questions.

In 1 Kings 3:3, the reins of kingship are passing from David to Solomon. This passage states, “Solomon loved the Lord, walking in the statutes of David his father.” Don’t we want this for the upcoming generation, “walking in the statutes of David”? Sadly, Solomon later turned his heart away from the Lord. God removed the peace He gave Israel. In spite of Solomon and his family’s sin, God used the Davidic kingship to bring about the Messiah and King of the universe. Our Father’s focus was always on bringing the Savior into the world.

Likewise, when discipling others, our focus is not the next generation but instead is Christ. For just as Solomon disappointed, so will this generation. It is only in Christ that we rest our hope.

David Pulliam is a member at Second RPC in Indianapolis, Ind., where he and his wife, Grace, are involved in various ministries. He is a middle school teacher at Coram Deo Academy and is in his sixth year as a teacher. This article is based on a talk at a senior citizens luncheon.