At age 11, I said in my heart that there is no God. Having been born in Communist East Germany on Oct. 7, 1976, I was taught from early childhood that I was the product of evolution.

I distinctly remember the moment when I said in my heart that there is no God, when a wall of blackness enveloped the borders of my mind, like black space surrounding the earth without the light of sun or stars.

Why? He did not answer my prayer the way I wanted, so, in my anger, I consciously denied His existence, giving room instead to Darwin’s evolutionary theory.

After fleeing East Germany, I ended up living in the United States, where we settled in Haymarket, Va. By the time I was 16 years old, my thoughts had become very corrupt, yet this was but the beginning of the downward spiral of my increasing depravity.

Bored with life, I joined the United States Marine Corps in April 1996. My thoughts grew from bad to worse, filled with lust and violence—things that ought not to be spoken. On May 8, 2002, in Phuket, Thailand, the thoughts of my heart became manifested. NCIS aboard the ship charged me with attempted murder, rape, maiming, and three counts of assault by battery. I was arrested, tried by a general court martial, and sentenced by a judge to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

My life had become surreal. I had reached the bottom of my existence. I was desperately searching for answers, especially in the pursuit of why. After my arrest, I was left with one single possession, and it was not even mine. There was a small Bible in my cell aboard the ship, which I opened for the first time in my life and started to read. So, I read Genesis through Exodus, but understood nothing, nor did I know I had a soul.

On a Sunday afternoon, having been transported to the Camp Pendleton Brig, a man was let in who was making his way toward my cell while attempting to talk to me about the Bible. The evangelist approached my cell only to find me pretending to sleep. I wished he would go away! I did not want to hear anything about religion. Religion was for the weak; there was no God.

Though I was annoyed at his stubborn persistence, he prevailed over me, and I budged in hope that I could get rid of him by lending him my ear. In a space of three weeks, he talked to me about God, Jesus, and sin on Sunday afternoons. By the third Sunday, something began to stir within me. However, by now, Richard had become as annoyed with me as I had been annoyed with him. Apparently, having preached without any results and flustered by my stubborn refusal to believe, he cried aloud, “Well! Will you believe or what?”

I carefully considered his proposition and concluded that I could not and would not. With the word “No!” on my tongue, while at the very brink of speaking it aloud, a sudden powerful change came over me. Against my own unbelieving inclination, I came to life and believed. Falling to my knees, I sighed out “Yes. Yes, I believe.” I felt released from a bondage I had not known was there before. I cried genuine warm tears, not because I was sad, but because I was filled with joy. Jesus Christ was real, and I had believed in Him.

At age 25, all things had become new. The prison walls were the same, yet all things were new! I felt like a baby having to learn how to walk and talk all over again. I now craved God’s Word like I had never craved anything before. The Scriptures entered into my soul with a force like an invisible current of rushing water, whose Author was powerfully illuminating my mind so I could now correctly understand what I could not understand before.

My first confession occurred while shackled hand and foot between two Marine guards waiting to speak to my lawyers in preparation for my upcoming trial. One of the inmates walking by stopped in front of me and asked, “You really don’t believe that Jesus is real, do you?” I weakly responded, “Yes, I do.” I remembered that if I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead, I will be saved, for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation (Rom. 10:9–10).

One night, after taps, with the lights dimmed, I was lying in my bed when suddenly a pleasant light shone all around me. It lifted me, yet I physically remained on my bed. The atmosphere was surreal, yet real, as if something of another dimension was breaking through this world. It felt pleasant and soothing to my soul. I wanted to bathe in its presence forever, but could not endure it for very long. As if on cue, reading my thoughts, it left as suddenly as it appeared. I had no idea what to make of it. Perhaps I was finally going insane! As if to show that I was not, the Lord comforted me again the next night in the same way, at the same time. Again, I wanted to remain, but could not endure the wonderful presence of that light. Perhaps I needed to be comforted this way. I was about to be transferred to the United States Disciplinary Barracks at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., “God’s University.”

In the midst of trials, temptations, and conflict with the law of sin, in His Word, the Holy Spirit wrought to my heart to be diligent to present myself approved onto God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the Word of truth (2 Tim. 2:15). By His providence, I was being introduced to the creeds of the church and the confession of the Reformed churches, especially the Canon of Dort, the Heidelberg Catechism, the Belgic Confession, and the Westminster Standards. Powerfully opening my mind with the help of those confessions, the books of the Bible became one unit, one story of redemption. I began to more fully understand my regeneration, adoption, justification, repentance from sins, and my call to sanctification. In addition, it was at this time when I became acquainted with new friends the Lord used to teach me His Word and the life He had called me to. Among the faithful teachers were Zacharias Ursinus, Wilhelmus à. Brakel, John Calvin, my dear beloved brother John Owen, and many more. Also, the Lord was pleased to send the living Paul Finley, a pastor of Winchester, Kan., from the RPCNA, a godly and experienced pastor who was very much equipped to handle us baby Christians.

When least expected, God does the amazing. Anxious over my sins, all at once in a moment of prayer, the Lord was pleased to make His Word come alive like He had not previously done before. With joy in the Holy Spirit, and yet aware of my sins, deserving the lake of fire. From His written Word I was assured, “You can never go back to the broken covenant of life. That is where I placed the cherubim with the flaming sword; there is nothing but wrath. You come to the mercy seat, the throne of grace where Christ sits. The veil has been torn that represented my flesh. The cherubim with the flaming sword is removed that was stitched on the veil that separated the holy from the Holy of holies. The way is now open to come to the heavenly Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit. Your heavenly Father loves you and cares for you, even from all eternity.”

I have been out of prison for 6 years. From the beginning God sealed a promise to my soul, that He started a good work in me and will perfected until the day of Christ Jesus. By His mercy He has till now powerfully preserved me in the faith. In addition the Lord God gave me a family—my wife, Rachel, Natalie our daughter, Jacob our son, and a little girl on the way, due in February. We have moved to be closer to God’s people at Grace and Truth Congregation in Harrisonburg Va., where I am convinced God will continue His great work in us to the praise of His glorious grace.

To the God of all mercies, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, be all the glory forever.