The Scripture reveals that getting old was not supposed to happen. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, all of us are getting old (Gen. 2:17, 3:19). Adam and Eve did not physically die immediately, but, as the years passed, they surely sensed that they could not do the things they used to do, and eventually they died (Gen. 5:5).

The Scripture also reveals that, by the grace of God, those that are younger are to help and honor those who are older. The patriarchs did this in the rest of the book of Genesis, and God established it as a command for His people at Mount Sinai: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exod. 20:12), and “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord” (Lev. 19:32).

There are also warnings given to those who are old. Solomon, the wise king, forsook the Lord and worshiped the gods of his many wives. He forgot the warning in Ecclesiastes 4:13: “Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.” In the New Testament, young Timothy is instructed by Paul to treat older men respectfully and older women as mothers (1 Tim 5:1–2). By precept and example, the Scripture sets up a framework for helping and respecting the older generation.

Our branch of Christ’s church has sought to do this through the Reformed Presbyterian Home in Pittsburgh, Pa., for just over 125 years. When the Home was founded in 1897, the Reformed Presbyterian Synod and its Board of Trustees, not wanting to get involved in the management of a home for the elderly, designated an emerging organization—the Reformed Presbyterian Woman’s Association—to be stewards of this ministry. The membership of this association has always been open to men and women of the denomination, but, in the first 65 years, not many men joined. The organization elects a board of directors who oversee the operations of the Home.

My earliest memory of the Home is as a young boy. Since my grandparents had retired to Pittsburgh from the mission field in Cyprus, we would make an annual trip at Thanksgiving time to visit them. The day after Thanksgiving was dedicated to visiting friends in the Home, chiefly Miss Lydia McIlvaine who was from our congregation when it was located in New York City. Miss McIlvaine had an advanced case of Parkinson’s Disease, which she patiently bore for over 15 years. At that time, the Home had no nursing section, but she seemed to have managed in the residential section for all of those years. We would also visit Mrs. A. A. Wylie, who was my father’s “House Mother” at Geneva College in the 1940s.

Miss McIlvaine was the first of a series of people from my congregation and the neighboring Montclair congregation (which later joined with the New York City congregation to form Ridgefield Park, N.Y., RPC) who found a home at the Home. Others followed in the coming decades: Robert Graham, Joseph Dickey, Irene Kelly, Margaret and Isabel Heaney, Grace Bichakjian, and Mary Jane Park. Philip and Jean Martin, who had served in Montclair in the 1970s, relocated there many years later. Members of my immediate and extended family also were residents: my father and I moved our aunt, Lola Weir, to the Home in 1970. My grandparents, W. W. and Elizabeth Weir, relocated there in 1983. Later, my parents, Richard and Jean Weir, were residents in 2005–2006 and 2013–2017. And the Home took care of two aunts and one uncle of mine in their latter days on earth.

My wife, Bonnie, and I continued our visits to the Home with our own children. Orlena Lynn Boyle was there when our son Tim was a young boy. She had a collection of toys for children to play with, including a small red truck. One day when we visited, our son Tim attached himself to the truck. Orlena sensed this and generously said that he could take it home with him. Tim was overjoyed.

What lessons have I learned from these years of interaction with the ministry of the Home and ministering to older people in my family and congregation? Four particularly come to mind.

First, the church and its members are to impress upon those who are younger to honor and care for those who are advanced in years. In the United States, we live in a youth-obsessed culture. That obsession reinforces a selfishness that forgets about obligations to other people, and to the Lord. How can we as Christians teach ourselves and our families to be different and to follow the way of Christ? We can faithfully pray for those in our family and congregation who are older, especially during times of family worship. We can offer them rides to church. We can visit those who are older in our congregation if they are unable to attend worship. Also, if you are in the Pittsburgh area, come visit the Home, especially if you have friends who are there or are from your home congregation.

Second, remember that you, too, from the youngest to the oldest person who reads this, are getting older. Since you started reading this article, you have gotten a few minutes older! In this fallen world, you need to prepare yourself for the day when you may need help. That means putting aside a pride that we all have that “we can go it alone.” It means listening to family members and church elders and deacons who can see from a distance that we are having more and more difficulty “going it alone.” They can see things that we ourselves cannot see.

We will not be “forever 21,” at least not until the new heavens and the new earth. This also means having a last will and testament, along with written plans and directions concerning how we would want to be cared for if we become incapacitated. Many people, even in the church, shy away from this task, not wanting to think about it. But if the Lord says that He will take care of us, we need to trust Him and prepare for the end of our lives. We all need to remember Paul’s comment about Demas: “For Demas, in love with this present world …” (2 Tim 4:10). We must not love this present world so much—even the blessings that God gives us—that we refuse to give them up in the latter part of our lives. I would add that young parents should have these documents in place as well, especially written legal papers that would ensure the care of their children in a covenant home in the event the Lord takes the parents to Himself.

Third, local congregations—ruling and teaching elders, deacons, and members—have a responsibility to look out for their aging members. This is especially important for those who have no family, or whose family is far away, or whose family does not choose to help. Instinctively, we are taught not to be too intrusive into the details of other people’s lives. But when things are obviously spinning out of control—e.g., when a person wanders out in the middle of the night, has a serious illness, or is the victim of financial fraud—it is time for the church, under the supervision of the elders, within the limits of scriptural injunctions and the civil law, to take action. Part of the challenge in these situations is that aging can be very gradual, and it is hard to know when to intervene. But sometimes, in God’s providence, a dramatic change takes place—a broken hip, a stroke, a heart attack—that show a clear need for a resolution of the situation.

Fourth, we as a branch of the church of Christ should give thanks for the over 125 years of ministry of the Home. This ministry has served hundreds of people within the RPCNA, and hundreds of people outside of the RPCNA. In 1897, a household of faith (Gal. 6:10; Eph. 2:19) established a household to care for some of its members who needed help. I have been especially thankful for the Home’s help in caring for several of the members of my congregation who had no immediate family who could help them and who needed care that we as a congregation could not give individually or corporately. And I am also thankful for the care that it extended to various members of my family over the years. Please continue to pray for this ministry and contribute to its needs, that we might be wise stewards in what the Lord has given us.