Writing to Corinth from Ephesus in 55 AD., Paul makes a curious statement. “In view of the present distress,” says Paul, “it is good for a man to remain as he is” (1 Cor. 7:26).

What is the distress? Luke 21 helps: “When you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then recognize that her desolation is at hand…. There will be great distress upon the land” (vv. 20, 23). Rome crushed Jerusalem in 70 AD. The distress is that of war. The distress of war has its unique anxieties.

In this context, Paul gives advice regarding anxiety and relationships. “1 want you to be free from concern [anxiety]. One who is unmarried is concerned [anxious] about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned [anxiousJ about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned [anxious] about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is [anxious] concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband’ (1 Cor. 7:32-34).

Worry distracts from Christ. We worry over clothing, food, and shelter. We are anxious about the future. We worry about special presentations at the office. We are anxious about what we will say in a confrontational situation at church.

Our deepest relationships are no exception. Relationships with spouse, children, siblings, and parents often occasion anxiety. We become nearsighted. We focus on the problem or situation. Our minds grind away. We ceaselessly chew on a school situation, a matter at work, or a controversy in the church. Our emotions drag us down. Our relationships often prove too much of a distraction. We hit the skids.

When I told my wife I had orders for Vietnam, our anxiety skyrocketed. We thought about many things. We thought about death. We thought about children we might not have. Such anxiety does distract us from Christ and the grace of God in Christ. Knowing about relationships, Paul gives counsel: “This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:35, italics added).

Luke 10:38-42 provides a simple example. Martha welcomed Jesus into her home. “She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word.” Notice Martha’s attitude and disposition. “But Martha was distracted with all her preparations.” Sound familiar? Martha went to Jesus and complained. “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” Martha is anxious about her preparations for a meal. It immediately affects her relationship with Mary. “What’s wrong with that woman? Can’t she help?”

Jesus pointedly answers the worry and anxiety. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’

Worry about food preparations and a seeming tack of sibling support distracts us from the grace of Christ. It evokes a desire, not for grace, but for correction. We are out of kilter. We are too quick to seek the correction of others. We are not quick enough in taking the position of Mary.

What is the answer to anxieties in our relationships? We ought to sit at the feet of Jesus.