Years ago, my father wanted me to give my testimony at his church during a food giveaway. I had no idea what he was talking about—until my awakening.

I definitely wasn’t ecstatic about the idea. I mean, what is it to testify? I was doing great. I felt great. I was young and had the world in my hands. You can ask my wife: I am always in a good mood no matter what happens. When I am stuck in traffic, when the kids are acting up, when I step on a toy that was left lying around, and even when I am having car trouble, I have always kept a smile on my face. Things have gone right for me throughout life.

When I was about 18 and making questionable decisions (to put it mildly), I knew everything there was to know. I even quit school—that’s how much I knew as a young man. One night, after a few-too-many cocktails, I fell down a flight of stairs. My friends thought I was dead, but I had only damaged my lower back. To this day I still have pains there. Was this incident unavoidable? Was I doing the right thing and making the right decisions? I thought so. I mean, I knew everything, right? Or was somebody trying to tell me something?

One night, when I was 23, I was riding my snowmobile. I had a few-too-many cocktails that night too. I ended up getting knocked off my snowmobile and landing on my head and shoulder. I stood up and couldn’t move my left arm. I thought I had broken my neck. Actually I had just ruptured a disc in my neck, and I still have complications to this day.

My friend and I went back the next day to see what had happened. We discovered there was nothing in the area where the accident had happened. I mean nothing! There was only a very small bump. Next to the bump was a United Methodist Church sign. That sign still stands in the location and in my mind today. Was somebody trying to tell me something?

Throughout this time, from 18 to 25 years of age, I saw flashes of red lights—not in my mind, but behind me, on police cars. I encountered the police in incident after incident, but always chalked it up to bad luck, not the lifestyle I was living. I still thought I knew everything. During this time I did get closer to God and tried to live the “good” life. I had gotten my GED and put myself through college, graduating with a 3.7 GPA. I also acquired a great-paying job. Something was still missing, though.

Years later, I was hanging out in a bar. This time was different. As I was consuming adult beverages I witnessed a beautiful young lady arguing with a local patron on whether Jesus was real or not. This got my attention—not only the beautiful young woman, but the conversation they were having. Most people deny God’s Word, as it is written, or avoid the conversation altogether. Not this girl; she wasn’t scared.

Throughout my life I always tried to do the good thing. I had always believed in God, so at times I had compassion for the weak. I held doors for people. I said please and thank you. Later, I came to realize that trying to be good and calling myself a Christian is different than actually being a Christian. But I didn’t want to give up all the fun I was having. All the fun of paying fines, smashing my vehicles, making a fool out of myself, getting into fights, ruining relationships, destroying friendships, and going to court. This was the good life.

Jesus said in John 3:19-21, “This is the verdict; light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light for fear his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”

I lived in the darkness. I saw some flashes of light from time to time (not the red lights from police cars) and denied them. I now see the light of truth. My deeds have been exposed. These are the things I have done. I have asked God for forgiveness and am forgiven. This living testimony has been done through God.

Am I perfect? No, but my God is, and I want to be more like Him. If you take anything from this testimony, take this: Read your Bible and find the light in your heart, the true way you are supposed to live your life.

By the way, that beautiful woman in the bar is now my beautiful wife and we have four beautiful children. I haven’t had a drink in over two years and don’t intend to because I have counseling—not AA, but the Holy Spirit.

In John 14:15-18 Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father and he will give you another counselor to be with you forever—the spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But, you know him, for he lives with you and will be with you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” The Holy Spirit is your counselor; listen to Him.

—Brian Stupp

Brian lives in Fulton, N.Y., with his wife, Ashlee, and children (Ashton, 6; Sailor, 3; Georgia, 2; and Noah, 8 months). They are members of Oswego, N.Y., RPC. Brian is a school bus driver for the city of Oswego. The Stupps invest in real estate, grow organic produce for resale, and raise livestock. They volunteer weekly at Michaud Nursing Home, visiting the residents to pray with them and socialize. Says Brian, “I have gone from a life of selfishness to a life of serving, from a life of recklessness to a life of witnessing. The Lord has blessed us, and we look for every possible way to extend the blessing to others.”