My husband and I have ventured into a project to collect stories of older women in the church—stories of saints who lead ordinary lives of suffering and growing in strength of faith. Christ is the founder and perfecter of our faith; yet in His work of sanctification in our lives He has given us a great cloud of witnesses to help us lay aside sin and run with endurance (Heb. 12:1–2).

There is an endless number of stories that our peers present to us every day through conversations and social media. This culture of sharing ourselves creates, for some, an angst to present their lives in fancy one-liners and pictures. American society favors the young, and that not-so-subtle message affects all of us whether we realize it or not. It is, in fact, countercultural to revere the wisdom from the elderly, to hold it up as precious and authoritative for our lives. This is the way of biblical wisdom, so that the Word of God is not misunderstood and reviled in the coming generations (Titus 2:3-5).

Roadblocks to Pursuing Mentorship

One of the more pronounced roadblocks to pursuing relationships with older women or men is the assumption that older members of society are out of date, that they could not possibly understand the cultural ideas and personal problems of today. This is a misapplication of the book of Ecclesiastes, summed up in 1:9: “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” The cultural phenomenon that exists today, the ideas that are forefront in the media, and the politics and philosophies that present themselves as new are all different versions of the same sin and misunderstanding of the gospel as have come before. A plethora of actions and ideas can have the same heart of sin and misconstruing of knowledge behind them.

It is a collective problem to run along with the hype of elevating the ideas of the young. The church should be a place where the running to prioritize what is novel or trending is shown to be in vain—the way of foolishness. The running of endurance is to imitate the faith of the great cloud of wit-nesses quietly plodding on, wherein lies a storehouse of wisdom (Heb. 13:7).

Connected to the above roadblock is a lie and strategy of Satan: often, when someone is dealing with a particular suffering or sin, they do not share it with others in the church because they are convinced it is a unique situation that no one will understand. Believing in our own uniqueness of experience is another side of the same coin of not understanding that there is nothing new under the sun. While the experience itself could have its own nuances and details that are unique, the heart beneath it will carry griefs and sins that others know, and that Scripture speaks to. Satan wants us to hide behind our perceived uniqueness because it hinders us from receiving grace and help in time of need (2 Cor. 11:3).

I have done this. I specifically remember thinking that the pain I experienced from a deeply confusing and manipulative relationship in college was too long and detailed, too unique, to ever explain to anyone. This kept me from seeking out a wise counselor in the church. I had a hard time imagining anyone older could possibly understand the sins and sorrows I struggled with. Like others, I was tempted to believe that help lay only in secular therapy.

Then, God sent me another hard providence that was less unique: painful conflict in marriage. This brought me into contact with Irene Huizing, whose story and lessons blessed me with much wisdom and encouragement in my own life and walk with the Lord, so that I was humbled by my own foolishness and blindness. I was able to share with her, and now others, my “unique” experience in college and have seen that my grief, pain, and sin are relatable. More importantly, she pointed me toward the Word of God—the life-giving waters of healing.

Other potential roadblocks to prevent godly mentorship from happening include a shyness or un-willingness to ask for and pursue non-peer relationships, feeling guilty to take up someone’s time with your problems, shame about sin, or an anxiety about being vulnerable. If these are your road-blocks, pray for God’s grace and timing to help you overcome them, and be encouraged that one-anothering—confessing sin and seeking mutual help—is how the church should function. You have a role in helping one-anothering happen by pursuing mentorship relationships and being the one to step out in vulnerability. The awkwardness is worth the deep joy on the other side.

The Riches and Blessings Found in Mentorship

After receiving such rich blessings in my life as a result of mentorship from older women, my husband and I decided to start a podcast called Oaks of Righteousness that interviews older saints in the church to learn their stories. As Ann O’Neill said in her interview, “Everyone has suffering.” The stories we have collected are reminders of the expectation of glory that awaits us—first, the ultimate glory of Christ’s return that we wait for with patience; but, for today, the glory of drawing ever nearer to Christ, sharing in His suffering and becoming like Him. Those who suffer know more of what Christ suffered for them and cry with joy at the hope of salvation they have received.

One lasting lesson we have learned in the process of collecting these stories is how deeply impactful their growth of sanctification has been for my encouragement of faith. Each woman, in her own way, has quietly shown me that she has come to a place of godly self-forgetfulness. Even when I want to do kingdom-minded things, my lingering desire is still to reflect my glory, not God’s. These women have learned the secret of godly contentment (Phil. 4:12). Christ is enough; they no longer need to deal with the angst of measuring whether they have produced change or done some-thing that the world can applaud. They consider their life of joy and sorrow, and they rest in the truth that God is faithful; He has done it; do not look at me. The good life, as seen through their eyes, is ever drawing into a more intimate relationship with Christ; He is sufficient.

I was struck one Sunday when Rev. Ken Smith stood up to pray, and I thought, “He knows Jesus, he knows him deeply.” It is so very important for us younger ones to see that special relationship the elderly have with Christ, for us to yearn for that same relationship, and for us to find joy and comfort that we are heading there, too.

In the context of warning Christians not to be led away by strange teachings or living as the pagans, the writer of Hebrews says, “Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith” (Heb. 13:7), and Paul says, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us” (Phil. 3:17). Titus tells the older men and women to set an example so that the Word of God is not maligned (Titus 2:1–8).

I encourage you, fellow younger saints in the church, to see and know the light that shines from the faithful lives of the elderly among you, that your heart might be strengthened by grace (Heb. 13:9), and that you may see their good works and give glory to our Father in heaven (Matt. 5:16).

Irene Huizing, Ann O’Neill, and Jean Hemphill have all graciously shared their stories with Johnathan and me. You can find these stories at jkruis7.podbean.com or by searching “Oaks of Righteousness” on your podcast app. We will continue to share stories online as well as through bi-monthly articles in the RP Witness. We would love to hear of women you would recommend we interview, or to hear of interviews you have done yourself. Please contact us at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).