I was not raised in a covenant home or in the Reformed tradition of psalm singing or catechizing. I was raised in an American Baptist congregation, then later moved into the Southern Baptist church, then into the Presbyterian Church of America, when I was exposed to Reformed theology at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. I later was involved in planting a congregation for the Reformed Church in the United States (RCUS) before I moved back home to Topeka, Kan., in 1984.

In each of those churches, I appreciated many hymns of the faith—and I still do, though I enjoy them outside of the context of the public worship of God. There were some that left me scratching my head, and some were filled with unbiblical depictions of God and His ways. I would later come to understand that when the source of the church’s worship music is not carefully considered, many subtle forms of compromise can sneak into the church’s meditation about God and praise offered to God.

On the way to work, I pass by a church that has a marquee saying “We sing the old hymns.” I always wanted to stop by and say “The hymns we sing are 3,000 years old, inspired by God, and sung by Jesus and the apostles themselves—so aren’t they even better?”

For years, I knew the Psalms were in the Bible, but I didn’t know anybody sang them anymore. As far as I was concerned, the Psalms were just for ancient Israelites who sacrificed at the temple. My first exposure to the singing of the Psalms was through the Jesus Movement of the 1970s, in a Bible study group where we sang Scripture, including the Psalms. I memorized Psalm 117 through that singing.

My exposure to psalm singing then lay dormant until I moved back to Topeka. The pastor at the RCUS church I was attending recommended the Topeka Reformed Presbyterian Church as the only church in town where he was confident I would continue to hear Reformed theology. Upon investigation I learned that this Reformed church sang only Psalms, without musical accompaniment. Beyond that, I heard that some of them didn’t vote in elections. I wondered, What kind of weird cult am I getting into?

Needless to say, I had a lot to learn. The church did sing Psalms a cappella, which was strange. However, the congregation was also kind and loving and concerned for my spiritual growth and well-being. At Topeka RPC, I came to love the Psalms and to truly begin to understand them. Psalmody was a struggle at first, especially the practice of exclusive psalmody, and there were many misunderstandings before I finally understood it. The variety of psalms found in the Christian Psalter amazed me. There are psalms for every occasion, and I had never known there is a psalm to fit each mood and condition I face in life.

Two of my favorite psalms are Psalms 42 and 43. They provide a welcome correction to a one-sided view of the Christian life I had picked up in my previous experiences in congregational singing. Other church songs seemed to point out how miserable we were before we met Jesus, and “now I am happy all the time.” For me—and for many Christians—this mind-set does not fit with the reality of Christian experience. Many believe that that unhappiness indicates they must not be a very good Christian or not one at all. It is then that I point them to the Psalms, because the psalter taught me that it’s okay to be sad or angry or experience any other emotion reflected in the Psalms.

The psalms of lament are often avoided in many churches, even in those that sing psalms. Yet these sorrowful psalms have been some of the most comforting psalms in my life.

There was a singles group I used to go to, and we sang before receiving the message. One was a song that particularly grated on me. It was called “As The Deer.” The song begins with the first verse of Psalm 42, a powerful psalm of lament that works through depression and the feeling of being separated from God, and proceeds to a hope that rejoices in God. Yet, to my dismay, “As The Deer” simply took a single verse from this complex psalm, ripped it out of context, and turned it into a “happy song” that was so syrupy sweet it could put a diabetic into a coma!

I came to despise that song, knowing what the psalm really teaches. Later I requested the opportunity to do some teaching in the singles group on Psalm 42. It was granted to me, and I taught on how the psalm so beautifully progresses from despair to hope. The repeated chorus is one that causes us all to investigate the “dark places” of our own hearts: “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God” (Ps. 42:5, 11; 43:5).

I explained that from Psalm 42 to Psalm 43, the psalmist goes from despair to hope. The message is that even when you don’t feel like praising God, He understands. One day you will feel like it, but for now you weep. The response from the group was amazing! They had never heard any of that before, and some told me they felt closer to God than they ever had. That is what singing the Word of God does! As we sing His Word, He meets us where we are and draws us closer to Himself.

The psalms of lament are many, especially at the beginning of the Psalter, and they almost always progress to praise. These psalms have spoken to me again and again in times of despair. Recently, I went through a season when my employer insisted I work on the Lord’s Day, keeping me from church for months. It was a miserable time, and during my trials I received immense comfort from Psalms 42, 102, 13 and especially 137.

During that time, I found myself described in Psalm 137, since I felt so distant from “Zion”—the church of Christ as it was assembled to partake of the means of grace. I felt like I also was by the “waters of Babylon,” far from God’s blessings as I moped about my work. I wept multiple times (v. 1), feeling every week that I was in a “foreign land” (v. 4). The Lord used the verses, “If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand lose its skill” (vv. 5-6) to rouse my faith in Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit used His Word, “Let my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy” (v. 6) to steel my resolve to pursue deliverance in prayer. I asked the church and my elders to pray with me that I might be released from that oppressive schedule. I praise Him that He enabled me later to return to the blessings of regular Lord’s Day worship.

Do you dare to sing Psalm 137? Do you dare to begin in those dark places, pursing the progress from the despair into renewed faith and joy?

Another place we see this feature of the Psalter on display is at the beginning of Psalm 13, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (v.1)

It is only as we immerse ourselves in the psalm’s dark beginning that we can then be taken to the hope that comes at the psalm’s ending:

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. (vv. 5-6)

Just a few months ago I experienced a devastating providence, one more in a series of hard providences of my life. I had an accident that totaled my car, and the accident in turn threatened my livelihood, my job, and even my home. I was about as low as I could go and, like Job, I was cursing the day of my birth. I felt that:

❂ God had rejected me and ceased to show favor, ❂ His faithful love had ceased, ❂ His promise was at an end, ❂ He had forgotten to be gracious, ❂ He had witheld his compassion.

I know that sounds blasphemous, but I was so deep in despair that I wasn’t thinking straight. It was only my habit of going through the Psalter that kept me from going deeper into that pit of despair.

One day, I stumbled across Psalm 77A in the Book of Psalms for Worship which gave voice to my desolate sentiments. At first, I was shocked that the Psalter would contain such severe words of doubt and questioning, but then I was immensely encouraged. I felt I wasn’t alone, as the psalmist’s words gave expression to the very dark moods and doubts I was experiencing. It also allowed me to once again root my faith in the Word of God and travel the difficult path to resolution and renewed faith:

Then I replied, “Such questions show That I my weakness need to know. The Most High has a firm right hand That through the years shall changeless stand. (Psalm 77A, stanza 3)

As the psalm continues, it shows that God has not changed and is still in control. That encouraged me even more. Once again the Lord used one of the psalms of lament to bring me out of the depths of despair, into the sunshine of His presence, and toward confidence in His sovereign power.

Nowhere but in the Psalms, and in the Psalter as a whole, have I found myself drawn along so powerfully on this journey from lament to joy, from despondence to hope. I challenge you to let the Psalter bring you on the journey of the Christian life, drawing you anew into faith and hope. This is what it does for me again and again.

—Marc Drayer

Marc Drayer is a member of Topeka, Kan., RPC and lives within eyeshot of the Kansas State Capitol. He is an avid reader and particularly relishes the works of C.S. Lewis. He shared his testimony at LifeFocus 2014. Listen to an interview with Marc at www.lifefocusweek.info/past/2014.php.