Because it was well after midnight, the world’s busiest airport was basically deserted. The lack of the hustle and bustle at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport only added to the eeriness, uncertainty, and loneliness I was feeling. I was there to pick up a young man, a friend of mine who was returning from a quick trip out West for the funeral of his father, who had died unexpectedly. As far as we knew, his father had never expressed any faith in Jesus Christ or showed any interest in knowing Him personally.

What was I to say to my friend? How would I comfort him? How could I comfort him? My struggle on that early morning in a deserted airport still haunts me, decades later. Yet it is a situation that Christians, pastors, and churches face constantly. How can we comfort those who are grieving?

With these words from 1 Thessalonians 4:13, Paul says that Christians are to grieve differently than those outside the faith: “so that you will not grieve as the rest who have no hope.” What does it mean for Christians to grieve differently? How can we help them to grieve differently? Over the years, I have participated in funerals for both Christians and non-Christians. I believe there really is a difference in the way they grieve. I believe that a Christian can grieve in hope and victory, even in the midst of great sorrow and despair.

In a fallen world, we will face heartaches and deep disappointments. Everyone will be touched by the death of a loved one. Some will face difficult, sorrowful situations through such things as a wayward child, broken relationships, financial defeats, and painful illnesses. In the midst of tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, and peril, Christians can “overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (Rom. 8:35–37).

How can we grieve in victory and even in joy? How can we “overwhelmingly conquer” in the midst of the sorrowful and grievous situations? For the Christian, the way to grieve in hope and victory is based on two things. First, we have the reward of heaven in the next life; and second, we have the resources of God in this life.

Look to Heaven

The reward of heaven in the next life is Paul’s focus in 1 Thessalonians. Several Christians had died (“fallen asleep” as Paul described it). The victorious hope that Paul mentions is our knowledge that those who have died in Christ will live with Him because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. “For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus” (1 Thess. 4:14). In this hope, there is victory and an eternal perspective.

Some may ask, How can there be victorious hope if a loved one who died did not put their faith and trust in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus? How is it possible that in heaven God will “wipe away every tear from their eyes…and there will no longer be any mourning, or crying or pain” (Rev. 21:4)?

A couple of illustrations, although imperfect, might help. When you are standing on the South Rim overlooking the Grand Canyon, it is hard to recall your troubles at home. When my wife and I exited the cable car and climbed up to the platform overlooking Mt. Blanc in the French Alps, we were stunned. My knees nearly buckled. When I turned to my wife, she was crying. I could have stood for hours overlooking the Grand Canyon or Mt. Blanc. The point is that grief and sorrow fade in the presence of true glory. Yet, the Grand Canyon is the mere banks of a small creek, and Mt. Blanc is a small hill on your horizon compared to the glory that will be revealed to the followers of Jesus in their eternal home. In heaven, grief will be swept away by glory. As Christians learn to set their hope on this true glory of their future inheritance, it can help ease the pain of the grief and sorrow we experience in this world.

The Christian’s next life in heaven will be filled with a beauty and glory that are unimaginable in this life. Living and reigning with Jesus will be immeasurably more magnificent and thrilling than the greatest pleasure we could experience in these shadowlands in which we now live. Grief melts away in the presence of great glory. According to Jesus’ prayer, Christians will see and share the glory of Jesus (John 17:22–24).

Resources for This Life

So, Christians can grieve in hope and victory because of the reward of heaven in the next life. In addition, Christians can hope in the midst of grief because of the resources given by God for this life. In Romans 10:12, Paul said that God is “abounding in riches for all who call on Him.” Christians can call on these resources in their times of sorrow.

I would like to explore a few of the available resources of God that can be especially helpful in times of grief.

Comfort. Christians can call upon God for His comfort. In 2 Corinthians 1, the Apostle Paul is grieving to the extent that he “despaired even of life” (v. 8). In the midst of his suffering, Paul was sustained by the comfort of God. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (vv. 3–4).

Joy. Jesus possesses joy and wants His joy to be in His people. “These things I have spoken to you so that my joy may be in you and that your joy might be made full” (John 15:11). When Jesus’ joy is in us, our joy is made full. My favorite verse on joy is Isaiah 12:3: “Therefore you will joyously draw water from the springs of salvation.” Christians do not need to manufacture joy, but simply draw from the resources of Jesus and His salvation. When in times of grief, we can come to Jesus and ask Him to give us His joy.

Peace. The peace of God is described as “surpassing all comprehension” (Phil. 4:7). Just like His joy, Jesus also desires to give His followers His peace. “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27).

Many years ago, when I was pastor in a small church in the Chicago area, a family from the church spent a day on the shores of Lake Michigan. One of their daughters went missing. Not knowing what might have happened to her, several men from the church, along with county authorities, gathered with the family to search for their lost daughter. It was not until the next day that they found her body among the rocks of the lake’s shoreline. As you would expect, the pain, sorrow, and anguish were great. However, in conducting the funeral, I was amazed at how many people told me they could not believe the peace the family demonstrated. When talking to the parents, they told me that the peace was solely from God, surpassing even their own comprehension. The sorrow and pain from their loss was still there, but so was the peace of God. That peace sustained them for the months and years that followed.

God’s people. In times of grief, there is the temptation to isolate ourselves and separate ourselves from God’s people. However, God’s people are often used by God to bring us comfort and encouragement. In 2 Corinthians 1, Paul wrote that the sufferings of Christ were his “in abundance,” but he also knew that his “comfort (was) abundant through Christ” (v. 5). It was from this comfort of Christ that Paul realized he could then “comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (v. 4).

God’s Word. In times of sorrow and anguish, the Bible has brought me comfort and joy. “This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me” (Ps. 119:50). Other verses from Psalm 119 are also important to remember in times of grief and sorrow. “My soul cleaves to the dust; revive me according to Your word” (v. 25). In the midst of his sorrows, the psalmist clearly knew the importance of being revived through the Word of God. “Revive me according to Your lovingkindness” (v. 88). It is important to always meditate on the consistency and beauty of God’s love for His people.

“You who have shown me many troubles and distresses will revive me again, and will bring me up again from the depths of the earth” (Ps. 71:20). Our hope and victory in grief and sorrow is in the great work and love of our faithful God, “the Shepherd and Guardian of our souls” (1 Pet. 2:25).

Christians, along with all mankind, will continue to grieve in this fallen world. Although the grief and sorrow will be real and painful, followers of Jesus can grieve differently than the world because they have the reward of heaven in the next life and the resources of God in this life.

“From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Ps. 61:2).

“Thanks be to God who always leads us in his triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place” (2 Cor. 2:14).