As a newly married couple, we often heard people speak of the need to “have family worship.” Only a few families actually showed and taught us how. They did this by example, by having us in their homes and inviting us to worship there with them. Consider this article an invitation to enter into our home and be our guest in joining us at day’s end for our family worship.

Why should we regularly worship together as a family?

Deuteronomy 11:18-20 says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Family worship is one of the best opportunities to teach our children God’s words.

Family worship is also preparation for public worship. It should not be a strange or inconvenient thing to have our children in public worship with us. In the Old Testament, it is often recorded that when the people assembled to hear the reading of God’s law, the women and children were in attendance (see Neh. 8). When we have family worship in the home, naturally our children will at the same time be “practicing” their behavior that is necessary in public worship.

When should we worship?

As in every important area of life, you must be deliberate or intentional about family worship, defining a time and place and a plan or pattern.

Choose a time that works every day. Many have family worship over breakfast, because that is when everyone is home and in the same place at the same time.

Our family worships together right before the children’s bedtime. We started this when our first child weaned from the bottle. Secular books suggested replacing the bottle or nursing with some other type of special time with baby, like reading a bedtime story. We decided to implement “family” worship (all three of us).

At first, this meant singing “This is the day” (Ps. 118:24) because she could clap, reading from a toddler story Bible, and praying a three-line prayer with her. We added Scripture memory when our daughter learned to talk.

Make a plan or pattern of what you will do each time you get together for worship so that everyone knows what to do and so that it is not difficult to accomplish.

Be consistent and persistent, even through life changes—like with the birth of a new child. Make your daily plans and commitments around this special and important time.

What is family worship? What should we do?

The Covenant Home Training Guide by Bruce C. Stewart (Crown & Covenant) helped us to determine the content of our worship in the home. We sing a psalm, memorize Scripture, read a Bible story, and pray.

Each Monday, we pick a psalm that we will sing for the rest of the week. Sometimes we choose a psalm from worship on the Sabbath Day. This may be a psalm that is directly related to the sermon that was preached to help us remember the message for the week; or it may be a psalm that we are unfamiliar with and need to learn better; or it may just be one that we liked and haven’t sung for a while at home. We mark in our family psalter the month and year that we sing a psalm in family worship. This helps us keep track, so we don’t get stuck on just a few. It is fun to look back on how many psalms we’ve sung together over the years. Another idea is to pick a psalm that the younger children sing in Sabbath school.

Be creative. There are some psalms that are particularly fun for a family to sing, like 115B or 118A (The Book of Psalms for Singing). These have phrases that repeat at the end of each line. We have a different child sing the phrase each time in response to our singing the first half of the line.

One advantage to choosing a psalm to sing for the entire week is that you don’t need to pick a psalm every night. Another advantage is that often by the end of the week you will have the psalm memorized, and so will some of your children. You can also work at memorizing the psalm throughout the week. Photocopy it and hang it on the refrigerator; sing it to the baby while you feed her breakfast; sing it while driving for the older kids to hear. Pretty soon they’ll have it memorized and be singing it to you. When a psalm that you’ve sung as a family is sung in worship, bring your children’s attention to it and encourage them to sing, too.

Scripture memorization has been particularly rewarding for us as parents. We have young children, so we try to pick a passage that has a basic message that our children can understand. At the beginning of each week as we start a new verse or new part of a passage, we explain the passage and meaning of hard words to the children. We line out the verse(s) at the beginning of the week, enunciating clearly, helping the younger children with pronunciation of big words. Let them do more without help each day. Give hints (lip reading or hand motions) when needed to help with memory, so they aren’t discouraged. Each family member, including parents, says their verse(s) twice, from oldest to youngest, so that the youngest can hear it many times by the time it is her turn. This helps her to keep up with the rest. Have the children recite to someone at church each Sunday, so you have a goal that you are working towards—being “ready for God’s Special Day.” Pick a long enough passage that you can build on it for several weeks. This will deepen their memorization of the verses of the first weeks.

Very young children (3 years old) can learn all of Psalm 23 or the ten commandments, reciting the entire passage in one sitting. It might take two months to learn, but they will pack it all into their growing minds. Don’t underestimate their ability. As soon as they can speak simple words, they can memorize Scripture. When our first daughter was 25 months old, the summer intergenerational Sabbath school program at church had children memorizing a one-line Bible verse each week, which they would recite each Sunday for a sticker on the board. The goal was to have 300 stickers by the end of the summer for an ice-cream-social reward. We thought our daughter could at least fill in the blanks for the verse, “Jesus said, I am the bread of life.” By Tuesday of the first week, she could say the entire verse.

Scripture reading is central in family worship. Find a children’s Bible that is suitable to your children’s age(s) and true to God’s Word. Sometimes you might need to skip questionable parts on the initial reading, and then write corrections into the book after checking accuracy with a superior Bible translation. Read with enthusiasm and joy in God’s Word. Explain stories and concepts to help your children understand. Ask questions, according to each child’s age and ability to comprehend. This helps them to listen more closely.

We end our time with prayer. Teach children how to pray by example and by having them do it themselves. Give younger children an idea of something to pray about. Have the entire family listen as each member takes a turn to pray. In larger families, it might be appropriate to limit each person to praying for only one thing during family worship, so that you don’t lose anyone’s focus and attention.

Family worship is “practice” for public worship

We have key phrases in our household that are said and taught in family worship, and then are said and understood in corporate worship. Our words are “be still” and “be quiet.” Using the same simple words in public worship as you do in private worship makes it possible to teach even a 12-month-old how to act appropriately in both settings. Insist on attentiveness, respect of God’s Word and prayer to Him, and appropriate participation. There is freedom to discipline at home, when needed. When you require these things with consequences for misbehavior, at home, rarely is there need for consequences for misbehavior in public.

Practice joy and participation in singing. Practice at home, encourage in public.

Looking forward to reciting a memory passage Sabbath morning helps children look forward with anticipation to “God’s Special Day,” and gives them a purpose, a joy, and a place in the setting of worship with other believers.

Other benefits to having a regular time of family worship

Children, even infants, are taught self-control as they learn to “not touch” the Bible, “be still,” and “be quiet.” Children, even infants, find the time together with the entire family fun and comforting. Consistent family worship gives structure to this particular part of a child’s day. For us it makes the process of bedtime much easier, because it brings closure to the day.

As you learn and memorize psalms at home, it will make your own worship on the Lord’s Day easier and more meaningful. You are able to meditate on the words you sing, and your hands are freed from holding the psalter to be able to more easily hold the younger children. You will be memorizing Scripture as well, as you teach your children their verses.

Children have opportunity to “speak” to others in the church family as they recite their verses. This builds the church as others rejoice in watching a young child learning God’s Word, and it develops relationships between your children and adults of the congregation that might not have come about naturally. Recitation helps remove a child’s fear of speaking to adults.

Invite guests that are in your home at that time of day (for us, evening guests) to join you for family worship. This gives them the opportunity to see a pattern or method of family worship and brings them encouragement as they worship with you.