Her Story

When my husband Lester started having TIAs (small strokes) we visited doctors for about a year before an MRI and CAT scan revealed that he had a brain tumor. For seven years after the surgery, I watched as he faded away. I praise God that He gave me the strength I needed to care for my husband. During his last days, I told him I could never love anyone again. My pastor, holding my hand across the bed, said I should say no more. Did he feel God had something different for me?

After the Lord took Lester home, I was very busy for the next three years. My four wonderful children would come home, always ready to support me, but I knew I was not going to interfere in their lives; after all, they now had families of their own. When they would leave, I knew all too well that I was alone. I had finished the downstairs, so my house became bigger and bigger. I thought of selling and moving to a condo, perhaps sharing my home with a married couple going to Geneva College nearby, or perhaps some child might need me. I volunteered at a nursing home, worked for Meals on Wheels and in a bereavement group; but nothing seemed enough.

I remember standing at my kitchen sink one day and asking the Lord if there was someone I could be of help to, and telling Him He would have to bring him right to my doorstep, as it were. Only a few days later my son called and said Verne wanted my telephone number. Was it OK to give it to him? I wondered. I said OK, but what could come of it? He was over 600 miles away and, I assumed, older than I.

I knew if I was to consider marriage that it must be with someone who loves the Lord as I do. Verne’s first visit to my home after preaching about 300 miles away did not mean anything to me until he and I started talking about our faith in the Lord. As I asked Verne questions that day and he read from the Scriptures, I thought, I could talk to this man all day. We were married one year later, and, as I say to him, we haven’t been quiet since.

Through God’s providence, I desired to change from 67 years in the same church to the Reformed Presbyterian Church, not knowing that I would be marrying a Reformed Presbyterian minister.

Verne is certainly one of the greatest Christians I’ve ever known; I learn daily from him. Only in God’s providence can two people who lived full lives live each day thanking God for ordaining such a great union as marriage.

Only God’s love working in us and through us can give real joy at this late time of our lives. Verne calls this time the interim between earth and heaven. I enjoyed hearing Ken Smith tell me, after hearing both Verne and me tell about our meeting, that he felt our first date was when we prayed together. He said we met at the throne of grace.

I only know for sure there is more than one love. I could never have believed it if God hadn’t brought Verne right to my doorstep.

His Story

After 57 years of married life, suddenly I was alone! After a period of grieving, I began to reason along these lines: “My wife has gone on to her eternal reward; she is with the Lord! After the resurrection, there will be no marriage, except the marriage of our church to our Lord Jesus Christ. But I am left here on earth to live a new kind of life. Does the Lord intend for me to be single, or does He have another wife for me?” I began to pray in earnest, “Lord, where am I going? Are you going to give a wife to me?”

From my closest friend in the Cambridge, Mass., RPC, Ken Chilton, I had often heard news of his family. I knew that his father had died after being an invalid for many years. I knew that he often talked to his mother on the telephone, and that she was a woman of faith who loved the Lord and His church. She lived 600 miles away in Western Pennsylvania; but when his children were baptized, she flew in to be present. During one of those visits, I remembered having met her and having told her how much I appreciated the friendship of her son. I remembered that she was a well-dressed, outstanding woman.

I also learned that she was a leader in a local bereavement group and had brought comfort to many. One day, after talking with Ken, the thought came to me, “I wonder if I should become acquainted with his mother? Is there the faintest possibility that the Lord might answer my prayers through her?” So, I asked Ken if I could have his mother’s telephone number. Ken called her, and she consented.

About a week later, I was asked to preach at the Hazleton RPC, which was halfway to her home in Beaver Falls. I called Shirley to ask if I could visit her briefly the day after my preaching engagement. She agreed to see me. During our conversation, I told her, “I need a wife!” Shirley responded as politely as possible, but afterward told all her family that her immediate reaction was, “Well, what are you doing at my house?” She felt no need at all for a husband, especially one who was 10 years older than she.

We did have a good discussion of the Scriptures on a question that she brought up. And as I left her, she agreed that I could call her again if I wished.

I was amazed at how well one can get to know a person on the telephone, especially if you call for an hour or more each day for several months! About a week or two into our daily calls, I sat in Ken and Pam’s house one day and remarked, “I don’t know where this is going, but I do know that I have a lot of joy!” A couple weeks later, I wore a red vest to church and my friends noticed the uplift in my demeanor.

One evening, I could hold back no longer. I called her and asked her to listen. I lay down the telephone on the piano and sang and played to her, “Let me call you Sweetheart; I’m in love with you,…”

Soon after, Shirley asked me, “Verne, how can you say you love me so soon after your wife’s death?” I answered that I knew my wife had passed from this world and was certain she had gone to her eternal reward. My earthly life was continuing and I needed to plan for whatever years the Lord still had for me. I still believed in the value of marriage, and I assured Shirley of my genuine love.

Shirley commended me for having the ability to look ahead. She said that so many of the bereaved people with whom she worked only looked back; they could not look ahead to anticipate something better.

Later on Shirley exclaimed to me, “A second marriage? I never ever thought of having a second marriage!” I told her, “Don’t think of it as a second marriage; think of it as a special marriage.”

Eventually Shirley did consent to marry me, believing it to be the Lord’s answer to her prayer as well as mine. And it truly has been a special marriage. We praise God that all of our children participated in the joy of our wedding. The accompanying photograph shows us being married by Pastor Renwick Wright, who was a great blessing to Shirley after her bereavement, as he called her to encourage her in Christ. Beside us in the photo are all six of our children; Professor Robert Copeland is leading the wedding party and guests in singing, “The Lord’s my Shepherd, I’ll not want.”

I have found Shirley to be a perfect complement to me. She is a people person; all who know her recognize her love and care for others. She is a wise person; I am humbled frequently as I see matters through her eyes, which always look ahead and plan ahead that blessings may come. She is a principled person; her standards have been well established and guide her to comfortable decisions.

I could go on. Suffice it to say that from morning to night I praise God for answering my prayer, “Lord, are you going to give me a wife?” He has done so, beyond any expectation I could have had. We have traveled places and experienced great blessings that I could not have known without her. She continues to play racquetball with me, my favorite aerobic sport for 22 years, and gets better every game.

With Shirley’s support, I shall serve the Lord as a married man to the utmost of my potential. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!